She let me hug her
Jun 21, 2008
The New Paper
By: Liew Hanqing
He courted her for more than two years, and offered to help her pay off a study loan of more than $48,000. He even once confessed his love for her.
He claims that he then hugged her with her consent.
The man is giving his side of the story following a report in The New Paper yesterday.
Amy (not her real name) a graduate student, had recounted the incident on her personal blog.
She had asked Jim (not his real name), 34, an engineer, to accompany her to Seoul to settle an accident claim because none of her female friends could make the trip.
Amy, 24, claimed she had booked a hotel room with two separate beds, but because of a reservation error, they were asked to move to a room with a double bed after one night.
She alleged that on the last night of the trip, she was asleep when she felt something rubbing against her buttocks.
She has since made a police report in Korea about the incident.
Yesterday, Jim told The New Paper they had been friends for more than three years, since they were colleagues at an IT firm in 2004.
He said: 'In early 2005, I asked her out for the first time. From then on, we saw each other frequently for the next two years or so.'
He said he would ask her out regularly, often for meals and movies. At one point, he saw her almost daily.
'We wouldn't necessarily go out each time. Sometimes I would just pick her up from work,' he recalled.
'It was clear to her that I was interested. When we went out, she would sometimes let me hold her waist or put my arm around her shoulder.'
However, Amy said Jim tried doing this at group gatherings, but she would shrug off his advances each time.
She said he had asked her to be his girlfriend several times but she rejected him because their 'personalities did not match'.
Early in their friendship, he said he offered to lend Amy $48,000 to repay a study loan. Although she was 'apprehensive about it at first', she accepted his offer.
When asked, she confirmed this, but claimed that the money was a gift from him. She claimed that she had told him up front that there was a possibility she would not be able to repay the loan.
'He told me not to worry about it,' she said.
But Jim said that after the Seoul trip, he fell out with her and wanted his money back.
He was only able to communicate with her through a mutual friend.
'I told her, through her friend, that I wanted my money back. She said she was agreeable to that,' he said.
At the time, he was holding another job as a financial planner and had sold several policies to Amy.
ANGRY
Soon after they returned from Korea, Amy wrote in to terminate the policies because he had allegedly outraged her modesty.
'I was very angry,' said Jim, who then sent a letter through his lawyers to demand the money back.
She replied, also through a lawyer, that the money was a gift from him.
Jim's lawyer then sent a second letter saying the money was a loan, and not a gift.
Amy told The New Paper she understood the money was a gift because Jim had not asked for it to be returned until the Seoul incident.
Before the trip, she had been planning to buy a small car. She asked Jim to accompany her to a car showroom because he was knowledgeable about cars.
She said: 'Jim knew about my intention to buy a car. If the money was supposed to be a loan, he would have insisted I pay him back right away.'
He said that she had given him mixed signals on whether she was interested in him.
'In May last year, I went for a motivational course to learn how to open up. After the course, I told Amy one night that I loved her,' he said.
He claimed he asked her whether he could give her a hug, and she agreed.
Amy claims to have no recollection of the incident. She said that she had always made it clear to him that she regarded him only as a friend.
'I believe he knew this. Whenever we were out at gatherings and people asked if I was his girlfriend, he would reply no,' she said.
He said he did not push her for a reply after he revealed his feelings for her and did not hear from her for months.
He said he was surprised when she asked him to go to Seoul with her because they hadn't spoken in a while. He asked her why she had asked him along instead of a female friend.
'She told me her friends couldn't make it, and that she needed a companion because the airfare would be cheaper if two people went,' he said. He agreed to go because 'I needed a break because I had been very busy at work'.
He added: 'And, of course, I was still interested in her.'
He declined to comment on what happened during the trip because his lawyers have advised him not to talk about it.
Jim said he was unaware of Amy's accusations because he seldom reads blogs. He learnt of it only when a friend e-mailed the blog entry to him last Sunday.
He said: 'After that first e-mail, more of my friends and colleagues began telling me about it because they recognised my name on her blog.'
He said he had not contacted Amy about her allegations, but added: 'This has affected me. I haven't been able to stay focused at work.'
He said Amy was the first woman he has pursued in nearly a decade.
The last time he had a girlfriend was during his school days.
Of his courtship, he said: 'I had been waiting for her for more than two years.'
This article was first published in The Electric New Paper on June 19, 2008
Molest accusation has affected me badly
Jun 20, 2008
AsiaOne
Two platonic friends, Amy and Jim (not their real names) went to Seoul for a short holiday and returned with their friendship gone sour.
The New Paper reported that Amy, 24, alleged Jim, 34, had molested her on the last night of their trip - she was apparently asleep when she felt something "rubbing against her buttocks."
The graduate student then recounted the incident on her personal blog, which Jim eventually came across.
Jim recounted that he and Amy met as colleagues at an IT firm four years ago. He developed feelings for her, and courted her for more than two years, to no avail. He felt that her actions were however, inconsistent with her allegations.
He told The New Paper: 'It was clear to her that I was interested. When we went out, she would sometimes let me hold her waist or put my arm around her shoulder'.
He also said that after confessing to Amy that he loved her, he asked if he could hug her, and Amy agreed.
Amy claims, however, that if he tried to hold her at group gatherings, she would shrug him off, and that she had no recollection of the hugging incident.She also told The New Paper that she rejected his proposals several times as their "personalities did not match."
The New Paper reported that Jim even loaned Amy more than $48,000 to pay off her study loan, a loan she claims was a gift instead as Jim was agreeable when she told him she might not be able to pay him back. She claimed "Jim knew about my intention to buy a car. If the money was supposed to be a loan, he would have insisted I pay him back right away."
After confessing his love for her, Jim told The New Paper that he never heard from her for months, until she asked him to go to Seoul with her out of the blue because none of her female friends could make it. Jim agreed as he wanted a holiday, and he was still hopeful of a relationship with Amy.
Jim finally told The New Paper he had not contacted Amy about her allegations, but added: 'This has affected me. I haven't been able to stay focused at work.'
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