By: Terence Lee
27 June, 2008
The Straits Times
Two weeks ago, a 36-year-old man caught sniffing a housewife's armpits was sentenced to 14 years jail and 18 strokes of the cane.
He had molested 23 women, from girls of nine to women in their 50s, in a similar fashion over 15 months.
This is not the first such case here or abroad.
Sexual fetishes, when people are sexually aroused by specific materials or objects and are generally unable to achieve sexual satisfaction without them, are real and diverse. They become fixations, and are more than just sexual kinks.
Psychiatrists say that they are far more common in men than in women, and men prefer to keep their fetishes a secret. However, their obsessions do get them into legal trouble sometimes.
'Most men with fetishes don't consult us. They're too shy to do so and they find the problem embarrassing,' said Dr Adrian Wang, a consultant psychiatrist at Gleneagles Medical Centre.
Dr Brian Yeo, consultant psychiatrist at Mt Elizabeth Medical Centre, agreed. 'If their fetish could be easily accommodated by their partners, they would see no need to visit a psychiatrist,' he said.
However, Dr Calvin Fones, a consultant psychiatrist, observed that it is very unusual to have consensual agreement between spouses regarding sexual fetishes.
'If something's done once, the woman finds it kinky. But if done 10 or 20 times, then she thinks it's perverted. Such fetishes are seldom mutually enjoyable,' he said.
Men with sexual fetishes often suffer from low self-esteem and are unable to relate to the opposite sex, said Dr Yeo. As a result, some men resort to molestation, underwear theft or even stealthily take photos up women's skirts to achieve satisfaction.
Research has been unable to pin down exact causes of sexual fetishes, but psychiatrists agreed that they usually develop from young.
According to Dr Fones, a sexual fetish usually develops when a teenager or adolescent associates an object with sexual gratification.
'It sticks in his mind and persists until adulthood, like a bad habit,' he said.
While it may be challenging to undo the past, Dr Wang believes a person can still take control.
'The sexual urge is a very basic, primal instinct, but mature adults can decide to satisfy them only under the right circumstances,' he said.
'If a person has a strong urge to press himself against someone's buttocks, I would teach him to focus on other things, such as distracting himself by listening to music on his MP3 player.'
He said sex therapy is another solution. By improving a man's sexual relationship and gearing him towards mainstream sexual practices, it is hoped that he will overcome his fetish.
Said Dr Yeo: 'For my patients, I'm more pragmatic. If they have to view pornography, I usually move them towards more mainstream stuff, such as heterosexual porn.'
This article was first published in Mind Your Body, The Straits Times on June 26, 2008.
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