Do you know if your child is having sex?

We used condom a few times for fun

		Wed, Aug 27, 2008 The New Paper

SHE started having sex with her boyfriend while in secondary school because she was bored.

Brenda (not her real name), now a first-year polytechnic student, said she rarely used protection.

The former Express student in a neighbourhood school said she lost her virginity to her first boyfriend whom she met in school. They had sex four times a week at his home when his parents were out.

She said they rarely used a condom, and the few times that they did was 'just to see what sex felt like with a condom'.

'We experimented a lot. The condom was just for fun - I didn't know at that time it was important to use it to prevent pregnancy or STIs,' she said.

'There was nothing much else to do then, so we just had sex.'

She said she didn't learn much in school about the dangers of unprotected sex, and wished there was a better sex education programme then.

'Having sex is the norm now and it's best if teachers and counsellors can better prepare the students.'

As for having sex so young, she said: 'I think it is okay as it is a personal choice.

'My parents don't know I'm sexually active or that I started so early. They don't ask me any questions as I do well in school.'

The straight-As student, who scored 11 points in the O-level exam, added: 'My sexual life and my academic life are two separate things.'

Ms Sheena Jebal, who has counselled Brenda for three years, said she was a triple-science student and in the top class in secondary school.

Her parents are professionals and she has a stable family environment.

Brenda said she is still sexually active but now takes precautions after learning about safe sex from her friends in polytechnic.

'After I left secondary school, I met other girls and realised I better take care. I don't want to ruin my future as I have a lot of big dreams.' She plans to go to university after poly.

This article was first published in The New Paper on Aug 25, 2008.