Dump your negative thoughts
Joe Nathan Lourdes
Dec 28, 2007
The New Paper
HAVE you ever felt that you are not good enough?
Thought that you are not smart enough?
Believed that your body is not attractive enough?
Have you ever thought about why you are here, living this life?
Whenever I come across these thoughts, I often turn to an exercise that is simple but powerful.
It is an exercise that brings together the three-part structure that seems to define us - our body, feelings and thoughts.
These are the instruments of our identity, meaning, awareness and knowledge. They also allow us to express ourselves.
The goal of the exercise is to integrate these three aspects by recognising any conflicts that might exist in your personality.
For most people, one of the three aspects dominates.
Take, for example, the contrast between a scientist, who is primarily used to thinking and staying rational, to a professional footballer who mainly uses his body and his emotions to drive his performance.
This tendency to focus on a certain aspect was recognised by the famous psychologist Carl Jung in his classification of four basic types: feeling, thinking, sensing and intuiting.
To communicate more effectively, all it takes is the ability to understand the other person's response.
In the same vein, all it takes is to notice your own representations and you gain self awareness because we generally identify ourselves by our dominant aspect or labels about these aspects, for example, I am strong (physical), I am smart (thinking), I am stupid (thinking/feeling), I am lazy (thinking/feeling), I am a beautiful dancer (physical), I am analytical (thinking), I am psychic (intuitive), I am a great counsellor (thinking/feeling) and so on.
Interestingly enough, when we get past the labels, we discover even more solid ground - a sense of self that is not connected to the aspects.
So today, I share with you a special exercise which, when you practise often, will help you become free from concerns about the expectations or judgments of other people and be more confident in yourself.
Give yourself at least 15-20 minutes to do this.
You can do it, seated upright at a desk, with a pen and a piece of paper if you want to take notes.
Quieten yourself by bringing your attention to your breathing. Just mentally follow the cool air as you draw it into your lungs, feel the rise and fall of your chest, think of the blood flowing through your lungs drawing in oxygen from the air and taking it to all the parts of your body that need it. Breathe deeply for at least three breaths now before following your own comfortable rhythm.
If your mind wanders, just bring your attention back to your breath.
In a few moments you can close your eyes as you allow the coming words to sink into your consciousness and then open your eyes again to look at the next instruction.
You are going to step back from the various parts of yourself in order to get to the centre - the personal self or the observer that is beyond any of your individual aspects.
Tell yourself slowly: I have a body, but I am more than my body. I am the one who is aware: the self, the centre. My body may be rested or tired, hot or cold, active or inactive, but I remain the same, the observer at the centre of all my experiences. I am aware of my body, but I am more than my body.
(Close your eyes and allow these words to sink in. You can choose to repeat them 2-3 times and notice your thoughts as the words swirl through your mind.)
Now tell yourself: I have emotions, but I am more than my emotions. Whether I feel excited or dull, angry or sad, I recognise that I am not changing. I have emotions, but I am more than my emotions
(Close your eyes and allow these words to sink in. You can choose to repeat them 2-3 times and notice what comes to mind.)
Tell yourself: I have an intellect, but I am more than my intellect. Regardless of my thoughts and regardless of how my beliefs have changed over the years, I remain the one who is aware, the one who chooses - the one who directs my thinking process. I have an intellect, but I am more than that.
(Close your eyes and allow these words to sink in. You can choose to repeat them 2-3 times and notice your thoughts as the words swirl through your mind.)
Finish with these words to yourself: I am a centre of pure awareness. I am the one who chooses. I am the self.
Joe Nathan Lourdes is the director of Hypnosis Works Pte Ltd. For more information, see www.hypnosisworks.com.sg. 4 Jan is World Hypnotism Day.
This article was first published in The New Paper on Dec 23, 2007.
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