UMNO is a Cruel GOD

UMNO is a Cruel GOD

LETTERS/SURAT

Friday, 30 April 2010

By John Doe

“Vote for UMNO, and we'll give you money”. This slogan was louder than 1Malaysia. This slogan worked better than 1Malaysia. In fact, it was more like “Vote for UMNO, and we'll give you money, or else...”. This slogan must have worked somehow. Look, even the dead voted for UMNO. Some phantoms voted for UMNO, and all the Orang Asli's who had their IC's removed from them, prior to the Elections also 'happened' to vote for UMNO.

The 10 Commandments set by UMNO are as follows:
1. I am the Lord, your God, who brought you out of the Empire of the British Empire. You were all former subjects of the British Government, qualified for equal rights, and fair human treatment. That is gone now. Malaysia is still in a state of Emergency. Thou shall not have other “opposition” Gods before me. I will try to cripple them anyway. And pay your bloody taxes to UMNO, coz this God requires your money.

2. You shall make yourselves idle. For six days, you shall “sembang”, “santai” and rest, but on the seventh, you must rest even more. School is an evil thing of the West. You shall have nothing to do with it. You should not have a steady job, nor any real career. You must become dependent on UMNO. Ketuanan UMNO will take care of you. Especially just before elections. We openly spend $100 million then. If you don't like it, then migrate like the rest of the millions of Malaysians since the 80's.

3. You shall not bow down and worship education, or any form of intelligence for I, UMNO, am a jealous and cruel God, punishing children for the iniquity of parents, to the thirtieth and the fortieth generation of those who reject me, but showing steadfast love to the thousandth generation of UMNO, who love me and keep my ISA commandments. You shall not make mention of the name of Altantuya, for UMNO will not acquit anyone who mentions her name. May C4 be upon you too. Otherwise, pigheads will fly.

4. Remember the Putrajaya and keep it Holy. You can bring your sacrificial animals to us, but we prefer that you relinquish all your worldly and earthly posessions to us. You do not need the Evils of Money. We will remove it from you. Sometimes, we will even take it from you after you die. Post-humous Religious Conversions are sanctified by BN. For all this, you must be grateful.

5. Honour the father and mother of Corruption. Corruption is un-officially banned in Malaysia. However, it is only reserved if you are UMNO. We will punish the rest of you, if you do not share it with us. Semua OK, kalau kongsi sama-sama.

6. You shall not murder. BN can, and will. We have openly shown it to you too. Look, even Beng Hock's dead body flew out of the 14th floor. Not to forget Kugan, and the latest 14 year old boy. We wrote the Law, and are therefore, above the Law. The Law is only reserved for puny mongrels called Malaysian Citizens.

7. You shall not commit adultery. This is reserved for UMNO. However, you are required to give all your virgin daughters to us. We have the omnipotent skills to “de-flower” them. How do you spell Ziana Zain again? Watch the wonderful Chua Soi Lek Video. This is a much sought-after Academy-Award Sex-Education Training Video.

8. You shall not steal. If UMNO get's a commission, then it is no longer called stealing. Look at submarines. There is never a need to steal. We are all about “sharing”. You help masturbate my Ketuanan, and I will not C4 you till Kingdom come.

9. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbour. Just give us a call, and we will have MACC, PDRM, and lelong-judges make sure that it is no longer “false”. Korek korek korek. (Of course, we will require some commission to do this.)

10.You shall not covet BN MP's houses. We live in rich, enamelled, gold-gilded homes, while you trough around in mud. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, and we will tell you when to surrender your wives to us. Unless, of course, they are carpetmen, who are just there for the “Nocturnal Needs” of certain individuals.

Do all of the above, and your days shall be long and dreadful. Failure to comply means immediate arrest for subservient behaviour, and perhaps “mysterious death” while in custody. If the mysterious 1,800 deaths in prison are not enough to frighten you, then perhaps we will send the IRS to investigate you for the next 15 years every single day. We could charge you for failure to keep accurate and detailed records of your paper-clip usage, punishable under the Law by Life-Imprisonment. What do you mean “not in the Constitution”? We, the UMNO GOD, are allowed to change any damn rule we want, whenever we want.

You pitiful riff-raff Citizens are far too pathetic to even think about a revolt. Just pay your tax, continue to worship us and shut the hell up; or we will do it for you.

Thus saith the UMNO GOD.