Saturday, August 1, 2009

Language of love

Language of love
Sat, Aug 01, 2009
The Straits Times

By Janice Tai

Learning to read romantic body language can give you a headstart in figuring out if the opposite sex is really into you.

Ms Elizabetta Franzoso, a trainer with the Singapore Institute of Management Professional Development, and psychologist Daniel Koh from Insights Mind Centre, give the lowdown on those signals.

Eye contact

When interest is aroused, the eyes do much of the signalling. Initially and from a distance, a person may look at you for a slightly longer period than normal, then look away, then look back at you again.

Enactment displays

Romantic language may also include enacting sexually stimulating activities like caressing oneself or stroking one's arms, leg or face. This may mean 'I would like to stroke you like this' or 'I would like you to stroke me like this'.

A woman may bring attention to her lips by eating slowly, licking and pursing her lips into a kiss shape or leaving her mouth slightly open in imitation of sexual readiness.

Objects like cigarettes and wine glasses may also be used in enactment displays by rolling and stroking them.


What a person may be saying with these actions are: 'I am making myself look good for you'. They include the tossing of hair, brushing the hair with one's hand, running a hand through one's hair, polishing one's spectacles and brushing one's clothes.

Display actions

Certain parts of the body may be exposed or highlighted.

A man may move his legs apart and point his crotch area towards the woman. A woman may emphasise her legs by crossing and uncrossing them or hanging her heels on her toe. A man may squeeze his muscles to give the impression of higher muscle tone. A woman may press her breasts together to make them look firmer and larger.

These actions might have primeval origins, experts said. For a woman, they showcase her health and ability to bear and nurture the man's child. For the man, they show that he is virile, strong and able to protect the woman and their child.


Leaning towards another person says 'I would like to be closer to you'. It is also a test to gauge the other person's response to see if the person will lean towards you too or away from you.


A person who is interested in you may subtly point at you with a foot, knee, arm or head. It is effectively a signal that says 'I would like to go in this direction'.

This article was first published in Mind Your Body, The Straits Times.

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