Dari PP ke Parlimen ke PJ

Dari PP ke Parlimen ke PJ

30 Aug, 2008

If I were asked to write this year’s MCKK Old Boys Association dinner-concert script, it would, again, be a musical. And the musical would of course satire the latest political scenario.

THE CORRIDORS OF POWER

Raja Petra Kamarudin

The last time I ever got involved in writing a stage-play script for a MCOBA (Malay College Old Boys Association) dinner-concert was in 1996. That year we did a musical, a satire of the political scenario then. The musical opened with the late Pak Din, who played the role of Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad, ‘crying’ to the song of ‘It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to’. That was of course the year Mahathir cried during the Umno Assembly.

The musical was about Mahathir crying and lamenting about the rot and money politics in Umno (Money, money, money, it’s a rich man’s world), the stupidity of the Umno leaders (I don’t know much, but I know I love you), Anwar kicking out Ghafar Baba and taking over as Number Two, Tengku Razaleigh falling out with Nik Aziz and returning to Umno (Reunited and it feels so good), Rafidah and Siti Zaharah engaged in a duel, and finally Anwar getting kicked out of Umno.

Some say it was almost like a prediction and a prediction it certainly was. Everything in that musical actually happened.

If I were asked to write this year’s MCKK Old Boys Association dinner-concert script, it would, again, be a musical. And the musical would of course satire the latest political scenario. Lat Shariman would, as usual, play the role of Anwar Ibrahim, as no one can mimic Anwar better than Lat can. Rehman Rashid would probably direct the entire thing, as only he is despotic enough to control the most unruly MCOBA crowd who never turn up for concert practice on time. And who else but Dato’ Salahuddin Hashim should produce the concert.

And this would probably be what the musical would look like.

Anwar Ibrahim comes on stage to the song ‘The long and winding road’.

The long and winding road
That leads to PJ
Will never disappear
I've seen that road before
It always leads me here
Lead me to PJ

The wild and windy night
That the rain washed away
Has left a pool of tears crying for the day
Why leave me standing here
Let me know the way

Many times I've been alone
And many times I've cried
Anyway you've always know
The many ways I've tried

But still they lead me back
To the long and winding road
You left me waiting here
A long, long time ago
Don't leave me standing here
Lead me to PJ
Da, da, da, da

Then Abdullah Ahmad Badawi would make his appearance to the song ‘Yesterday’.

Yesterday
All my troubles seemed so far away
Now it looks as though they’re here to stay
Oh I believe in yesterday

Suddenly
I’m not half the man I used to be
There is Anwar hanging over me
Oh yesterday came suddenly

Why I have to go I don’t know
He wouldn’t say
I said something wrong
Now I long for yesterday

Yesterday
It was such an easy game to play
Now I need a place to hide away
Oh I believe in yesterday

Why I have to go I don't know
He wouldn't say
I said something wrong
Now I long for yesterday

Yesterday
It was such an easy game to play
Now I need a place to hide away
Oh, I believe in yesterday
Mm mm mm mm mm mm mm............

Then Khairy Jamaluddin would come on stage to the song ‘I’m a loser’.

I'm a loser
I'm a loser
And I'm not what I appear to be
Of all the fights I have won or have lost
There is one man I should never have crossed
Anwar’s a man in a million, my friend
I should have known he would win in the end

I'm a loser
And I lost something that's near to me
I'm a loser
And I'm not what I appear to be

Although I laugh and I act like a clown
Beneath this mask I am wearing a frown
My tears are falling like rain from the sky
Is it for him or myself that I cry

I'm a loser
And I lost something that's near to me
I'm a loser
And I'm not what I appear to be

What have I done to deserve such a fate?
I realise I have left it too late
And so it's true, pride comes before a fall
I'm telling you so that you won't lose all

I'm a loser
And I lost something that's near to me
I'm a loser
And I'm not what I appear to be

And this will be the song, ‘Get Back’, that will accompany Najib when he comes on stage.

Anwar was a man I thought would be a loser
Never knew it couldn't last
Anwar left his home in PP, Pulau Pinang
Now he’s headed for PJ

Get back, get back
Get back to where you once belonged
Get back, get back
Get back to where you once belonged
Get back Anwar

Go home
Get back, get back
Back to where you once belonged
Get back, get back
Back to where you once belonged
Get back Nwar

Datin Rosmah Mansor thought she was a woman
But she was another man
All the boys around her say she's got it coming
But she gets it while she can

Get back, get back
Get back to where you once belonged
Get back, get back
Get back to where you once belonged
Get back Anwar

Ah, get back
Yeah, get back
Get back to where you once belonged
Yeah get back
Get back to where you once belonged
Get back, Ooo

And what would a musical be without Mahathir appearing on stage to the song ‘Nowhere man’?

He's a real nowhere man
Sitting in his nowhere land
Making all his nowhere plans for nobody

Doesn't have a point of view
Knows not where he's going to
Isn't he a bit like you and me?

Nowhere man, please listen
You don't know what you're talking
Nowhere man, the world’s not at your command

He's a blind as he can be
Just sees what he wants to see
Nowhere man can you see me at all?

Nowhere man, don't worry
Take your time, don't hurry
Leave it all till somebody else lends you a hand

Doesn't have a point of view
Knows not where he's going to
Isn't he a bit like you and me?

Nowhere man, please listen
You don't know what you're talking
Nowhere man, the world’s not at your command

He's a real nowhere man
Sitting in his nowhere land
Making all his nowhere plans for nobody
Making all his nowhere plans for nobody
Making all his nowhere plans for nobody