Tahun Meliwat Malaysia

Tahun Meliwat Malaysia
24 July, 2008

Welcome to Malaysia. This year is Tahun Meliwat Malaysia. And before we can even settle the issue of the sodomy allegation against Anwar, we now have to grapple with PAS also sodomising the voters.

NO HOLDS BARRED

Raja Petra Kamarudin

The new Tourism Minister has just announced that the Tahun Melawat Malaysia campaign is a failure. It seems the tourists are just not coming to this country. So they have changed the campaign to Tahun Meliwat Malaysia in keeping with the present spirit of the sodomy allegation against Anwar Ibrahim plus the ongoing ‘Malay unity’ talks between Umno and PAS. Yes, not enough the Umno-led government has sodomised us over the last 51 years, now PAS is planning to sodomise all those voters who voted for them in the recent general election as well.

Anyway, would any tourist worth his or her salt want to come to a country that bans lipstick and high heels? And they are talking about banning lipstick and high heels for women, mind you. We are not even touching on banning lipstick and high heels for men yet. Actually, they are not bothered about men using lipstick and wearing high heels. You can find many men in dresses walking the streets of Kuala Lumpur and with boobs that would make Dolly Parton green with envy.

Welcome to Malaysia. This year is Tahun Meliwat Malaysia. And before we can even settle the issue of the sodomy allegation against Anwar, we now have to grapple with PAS also sodomising the voters. And we thought PAS was asking the rakyat to support it so that we can kick Umno out and stop the 51 years of sodomy that Malaysians have been subjected to. How wrong we were. It looks like PAS is as much into sodomy as Umno is. Now do you know why I don’t want to become active in politics? I just do not want to be part of the sodomite team. And they are certainly all sodomites, every last one of them.

Yeah, when I say that these PAS types have dull brains because their turbans are too tight and it restricts the flow of blood to the brain, you accuse me of insulting the Prophet. The Sikhs are not offended though. They know however tight their turbans are tied their brains are still very sharp. It is somehow only the Malays who suffer from Tight Turban Syndrome. And need I say more when the actions of these tight-turbaned PAS leaders have proven everything I have said thus far?

PAS constantly talks about Islam the way Paris Hilton talks about sex. But it is of course only talk, unlike Paris Hilton who has many videos to her credit. Whether they really uphold Islamic principles is another thing altogether. PAS likes to focus on rituals and slogans. Pray, fast, go to Mekah, recite and memorise the Quran, ban lipstick and high heels, have separate swimming pools and checkout counters for men and women, don’t allow men and women to shake hands, wear robes and turbans like Sinbad the Sailor, and whatnot. Then they con the voters into voting for them and then they ask us to bend down so that they can sodomise us. Yes, welcome to Malaysia. This year is Tahun Meliwat Malaysia.

PAS will certainly put up a defence and argue that their talks with Umno are in the interest of Malay unity. What the fuck is Malay unity? They can’t even achieve unity in Islam and they want to talk about Malay unity. Is that what Islam is all about, racism? Have we been conned when the religious scholars tell us that the Prophet’s last sermon in Arafah was about ‘say no to racism’? Are these so-called Hadith false? Will that bring all Hadith under suspicion? In one breath we are told to believe in the Hadith and that the Prophet’s last sermon in Arafah was about anti-racism. In the next breath they go and do exactly what they say the Prophet told us not to do.

I remember 25 years or so ago when PAS declared that the Umno people are kafirs (infidels) and that those who cooperated with or supported the ‘racist’ party are equally kafirs. In 1990, Umno retaliated and whacked PAS back when the party ‘indirectly’ cooperated with DAP, another ‘kafir’ party. PAS was so flustered by this allegation that they refused to be seen as openly cooperating with DAP -- and they hid behind Semangat 46 in an attempt to camouflage the alliance.

In the West Coast, Semangat 46 teamed up with DAP under Gagasan Rakyat, while, in the East Coast, the Semangat 46-PAS coalition was called Angkatan Perpaduan Ummah (APU). Semangat 46 was the catalyst. It formed two separate alliances, one with DAP and another with PAS. In this way PAS would not be seen as having any ‘arrangement’ with DAP, a ‘kafir’ party. PAS and DAP then claimed that there is no alliance with each other, only that PAS and DAP have ‘separate’ arrangements with Semangat 46. Yes, PAS can be very sneaky when it suits them. And the explanation given was: the Prophet does not forbid deception as long as it is meant to fool the enemies of Islam.

Of course, that was then. Today, PAS has no problems working with the kafirs. They even form state governments in partnership with kafirs. So, sitting down for talks with Umno to explore how PAS can leave Pakatan Rakyat and join Barisan Nasional is no longer a problem either. If they can form state governments with the ‘kafir’ DAP what would be so wrong with also forming a federal government with the ‘kafir’ Umno?

We must understand, though, PAS was never really serious about forming an Islamic State. That was just election rhetoric for the benefit of the voters in the Malay heartland. PAS knows it can never turn Malaysia into an Islamic state. It can’t even turn the states it controls into Islamic States. The Federal Constitution of Malaysia does not allow for this. The non-Muslims, of course, knew this all along. That was why many non-Muslims voted for PAS in the recent general election. They knew that PAS is all lip service and that there is no way in hell PAS can turn Malaysia into an Islamic State. The gullible and naïve Malays did not know this though. They thought PAS really meant what it was saying. But PAS is a political party. And politicians never tell the truth. Politicians say what the voters want to hear and then do whatever is necessary for their political survival.

Immediately after the March 2008 general election, Umno Perak approached PAS Perak and proposed a coalition. Umno agreed that PAS becomes the Menteri Besar and that they can even implement Islamic laws in Perak if they want to. Yes, Umno Perak agreed that Perak becomes an Islamic State as long as Umno is part of the state government. PAS Perak, however, rejected the idea and instead chose to team up with DAP and PKR, even if they can’t turn Perak into an Islamic State. Umno Selangor tried the same thing with PKR Selangor and, again, PKR rejected Umno’s proposal to form a state government.

Then, Umno tried to buy over some DAP, PAS and PKR State Assemblymen in both Perak and Selangor. The offer started at RM2 million and went as high as RM10 million for the State EXCO Members. Still Umno failed to entice anyone to cross over. Umno now knows it would be futile to work on the individuals so they started working on the party. If they can’t persuade the State Assemblymen to cross over then maybe they could convince one of the opposition parties to leave Pakatan Rakyat and join Barisan Nasional. DAP and PKR would be non-starters. The only viable party would be PAS. So Umno sat down and started talking to PAS about Malay unity.

Malay unity is not on the Islamic agenda. Even Arab unity is non-existent. More Arabs have been killed by ‘brother’ Arabs than by the Jews in spite of all the anti-Jewish rhetoric by the Muslims. Anyway, Arab unity is a fallacy, not only literally but in the Islamic perspective as well. In Islam, Arab or Malay unity is forbidden. In the Prophet’s last sermon he made it very clear that racism is forbidden. Well, at least this is what they tell us. Or are all these books on Islamic history and the Hadith utter bullshit? Maybe PAS can help clarify this after they have finished sitting down with Umno and have come out with a solution on how Umno and PAS can jointly form the new federal government of Malaysia.

Did I not tell you that there is a lot of bullshit in the way Islam is practiced by the Malays? And this Umno-PAS Malay unity thing is yet another example of all this bullshit. Malay unity, my ass! They should be talking about Malaysian unity. That is why PAS is the government in five states and that is why Barisan Nasional has lost its two-thirds majority in Parliament. It is because of Malaysian unity. PAS has forgotten which side their bread is buttered. Once PAS has joined Barisan Nasional and is the new partner in the federal government will we see lipstick and high heels banned throughout Malaysia?