Polygamous marriage is beneficial: club 
 Sep 20, 2009
The New Straits Times 
 By: Sonia Ramachandran and Chandra Devi  Renganayar
 KUALA LUMPUR: All Muslim women should open their hearts to polygamous  marriages.
 Ikhwan Polygamy Club spokesperson Hatijah Aam said this was because a  woman had nine nafsu (internal desires) and one intellect whereas men had nine  intellect and only one nafsu.
 "When women are upset, they make a lot of noise, but men don't. The emotional  nature of women makes them broadcast their problems. They rant and rave.
 "Because this is their character, God allowed polygamy to challenge women to  control their desires," said Hatijah, the second wife of Ashaari Muhammad, the  founder of the controversial and now-defunct Al-Arqam movement.
 "When the husband hurts them by taking another wife, their nafsu are  challenged and curbed, and this makes them better people.
 "A woman when left to her desires becomes very dangerous like a tiger. In  fact, even fiercer than that. If the world is left to women, we will be open to  continuous war."
 The Al-Arqam movement was declared illegal by the National Fatwa Council in  August 1994 after the group's teachings and beliefs were found to be against  Islam. At its height, the movement had 10,000 members.
 Polygamy, said Hatijah, would ensure that women were not controlled by their  nafsu.
 "When I feel sad that my husband is with another wife, he (my husband) will  remind me that the pain God bestows upon us is a way to eradicate our sins.
 "The husband is the leader who saves women from being consumed by their  desires. There is a verse in the Quran which says that if the nafsu are not  controlled, then 'nafsu itu akan menjadi Tuhan' (the desires will become  God).
 "Polygamy is the most practical approach, an effective cure to a woman's  desire."
 Hatijah said women in monogamous marriages were not challenged and that was  dangerous as their nafsu could then control them.
 "Why see only the negative in polygamous marriages? We can share a life as  sisters. It is the nafsu that do not allow us to share and that is why men are  there to suppress it.
 "A polygamous marriage is actually beneficial.
 "We can help each other with many chores including looking after the husband  and children. The other wives come into our life to complement it."
 Hatijah said one of the reasons the Ikhwan Polygamy Club was established was  because Ashaari wanted to show the world he was living proof that polygamous  marriages could be successful.
 Ashaari has 38 children, eight of them with Hatijah. Twenty-three of the  children are in polygamous marriages.
 "Having been in a successful polygamous marriage for 30 years, Abuya  (Ashaari) wanted to show that it could be a harmonious way of life.
 "We also wanted to shock society. We wanted to show them there is an  alternative for those who practise free sex. There are men who need more than  one woman."
 She said some monogamous marriages were failures as the men cheated on their  wives.
 "They are leading life as in the Jahiliah era (age of pagan ignorance  preceding Islam) when men had many mistresses without any responsibilities."
 The idea of the club was mooted in August and was launched in Sungai Petani,  Kedah.
 Hatijah said the club's activities included counselling, courses and  organising weddings for polygamous marriages.
 "One of the first activities we will carry out is counselling. We will have  one set of lectures explaining practical steps towards a harmonious polygamous  marriage.
 "We have 40 men and women motivational counsellors to conduct this. We will  also organise courses every weekend.
 "Training towards a harmonious polygamous marriage is more difficult than  training to become a doctor."
 When there is a problem in a polygamous marriage, the issue will be taken to  the board of advisers which comprise the highest ranking officers in the  club.
 Five men and five women sit on the board. They include Hatijah and  Ashaari.
 "Here we will have meetings to decide the outcome of the marriage and whether  there should be a divorce or not. Divorce is allowed by God."
 About 300 families comprising some 900 individuals are members of the  club.
 Some of the families are from Singapore, Thailand, Indonesia, Australia,  Jordan and Syria.
 They are all part of the Global Ikhwan Sdn Bhd group, a business entity which  has over 10,000 members. Businesses under Global Ikhwan include bakeries, sundry  shops and restaurants.
 Ashaari helms the group which funds the activities of his followers.
 Who is the club open to?
 "All individuals who practise the Islamic way of life. We have had many  enquiries about the club, including from some Datuks in polygamous  marriages."
 Asked if she had been criticised for starting such a club, Hatijah said:  "There has been no backlash at all, just a lot of support.
 "I think I receive this support because people see polygamy as a solution and  a way out of adultery."
 The club has a theme song entitled Keluarga Role Model.
 Hatijah said the club would ensure that men who married more than one woman  were able to sustain their marriages.
 "The men do not choose the wives they marry. Instead, Abuya decides who the  men should marry and they rarely refuse.
 "Only men who Abuya believes have leadership qualities and who can manage a  polygamous lifestyle are chosen."
 Asked whether she had ever regretted entering into a polygamous marriage,  Hatijah said: "I have been declared founder of this club with my husband.
 "There is no way I regret entering this marriage.
 "Of course, in the 30 years that I have been married there were times I  wished out of this life.
 "I asked God for a way out but now after 30 years, I am reaping the benefits  and I can say that polygamy is beautiful."
 Hatijah said for a man to be just and fair he has to teach his wife that her  first love must always be God.
 "If you can't teach your wife to love God, marry only one.
 "If a man wants to give more to one wife, he will be prevented from doing so  because of his love for God. God says that if you love one wife more, you cannot  show it."
 Asked whether her mother was in a polygamous marriage, Hatijah said: "No,  during my mother's time, there was not much emphasis on religion. My mother now  accepts my way of life."
 As for her controversial move to call on prostitutes to join the club,  Hatijah said Ashaari wanted to "save everyone".
 "If I was a prostitute, what would my life be like? People can talk, but what  is the way out for them?
 "Who says polygamy is oppressive? It is the way out. They can become a wife  and be protected legally. In fact we are going to start with five women with HIV  soon. We will place them in a shelter.
 "We will counsel them, treat them medically and teach them the Islamic way of  life.
 "When they are back on the right path, we will advise them to get married and  assist them in every way."
 She said wives whose husbands wanted to take another wife should know that  their husbands still loved them.
 "They should realise how much it hurts their husbands when they (the wives)  ask for a divorce. They should realise they are losing a man who loves them."  -NST